1000 THINGS NOT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

A THOUSAND PLACES* NOT TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE

Introduction

It was my fiftieth birthday party! What a landmark and all my closest friends there. My good friend Mary, with whom my wife and I have often fantasized with over exotic vacations we might take ‘some day’, gave me the book, “1000 places to see before you die”. 1,000 places to see before you die [Book] I laughed, thanked her And put the book on my shelf with the thought of reading it soon.

Later, I couldn’t quite shake a small nagging feeling of something
Wrong about the book. I didn’t pay too much attention to this feeling for a
While and just enjoyed reading about all the fantastic fun places one might
Go ‘before dying’ that I might go to.

But I couldn’t shake that nagging feeling. Then I realized why… first
What a cosmic bummer to be given a book about ‘when you die’ on your
Fiftieth birthday. That’s a day that already is freight loaded with a lot of feelings about mortality. I didn’t really need a book about what I ought to do yet before I croaked.

Then I started thinking about what a bummer the book REALLY was.
First, assuming I lived another twenty years (a big maybe for me given my
Family history) I would have to visit 50 of the places I “must see” each
Year, to see all of them before kicked the bucket. OH MY!!! There was no
Way. That is, for all practical purposes, one place a week, from now until
I die. NO freaking way!! So here was the message…dude, you are too old,
You are going to die without seeing all the cool places you MUST see to have lived a complete life.

Then, to make matters worse, I started looking at how much it would
Cost to see all these places you MUST see. At an average of about $2,000
Per place (that was a very low estimate of the costs by the way) at 1,000 places, we are talking about $2,000,000 bucks. That’s without a job because
I got to spend all my time traveling to these exotic ‘must see’ places.

So, it was clear I was a loser and wouldn’t make it. (Even though I
Did look through and see a bunch of places that I actually had seen and which were unforgettable places).

So, I thought, ‘what kind of book would be an uplifting book’ one
That people could actually have a chance of achieving? One that wouldn’t
Cost a fortune? What would be the opposite, of ‘A Thousand Places to see
Before you Die”?

Thus the idea for this book. For those who want to live a full and
Fulfilled life. For those who want to minimize the pain, ennui and aggravation of life, I could identify a thousand things not to see or do while You are alive. This would be in reach of all. It would be positive. I had been To many of the 1000 mandatory places, but, in my life some are offset by some of the horrible life experiences I had. Maybe I could contribute and list things ‘not to do’. Just as important to life fulfillment and happiness…and a lot cheaper and far more achievable.

So, with that introduction I present “One Thousand Places not to
See before you Die” (And with places, I include things not to do and
Situations not to get into).

To be continued.



Comments

Anonymous said…
Time is short and there’s no sense wasting a second of it visiting places you wished you had avoided. For example...

Like many of your readers I am a big fan of oil and its byproducts. So a couple of weeks ago, when a friend told me that the world’s largest gas can was in Gas Kansas, I just had to go see it for myself.

Turned out it really wasn’t a gas can at all. It was just a water tower that had been painted red with the words, “Gas Kan” painted on the side in big white letter. Add this to your list of places to not visit and if you’re ever out that way, I advise you to pass Gas.

I left there and headed off to the Disneyland of Oil, the Gulf of Mexico! Now there’s a great place to visit this summer. I don’t understand what people are getting all worked up over.

First off, the very definition of the word “crude” is “existing in a natural state and unaltered by cooking or processing”.

“natural”…”unaltered”…well heck fire that sounds pretty good to me!

Second off, there is an amazing time savings to having your fish presoaked in oil, really speeds up the frying time.


Sincerely,
Mr. B P Leake
Goliath said…
Mr. B P Leake, This is very good.
May I have permission to use it in
my big book what will make me a
million dollars?
Goliath said…
Plua, do you have anyother reccomendations of what not to do
and where not to go?
Anonymous said…
Hi, my good friend Mr. Leake is busy this morning but told me that a million dollars sounds like a legitimate claim to him so you have his permission to use it. He said when he gets a moment he’ll be back with some other great ideas.

In the meantime, I’m excited about your book too and am working hard on coming up with other great ideas on places to avoid and places to visit. Those oil guys don’t have a monopoly on energy related vacation spots you know. Us clean coal guys have a million good ideas too.

Sincerely
Mr. Cole S Ludge

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