What I did on my summer vacations Part 1

Well me resiosts and resists the implorations of the wimmens and sprout to take a few day off busy schedules of wagin war with HT, collecting tribute from CCC and gathering riches from "Goliath's Treasures" online fine and high quality merchandise (especially sales of Evil Happyface Salamander, HT wifebeater tee shirts and "Help the Homeless" mugs waht has done saved Haven House as all proceeds donate to Barb Andersons) etc., (ie the Goliath 'lifestyle') to take sundry and all on big fance 'beach vacations' waht nothing more than misrble excuse for wimmens an sprout to lie about in sun, boogie board surfing, shopping at claptrap tourist stands and spending Goliath's hard earned sheckels on fancy fish dinners etc.,. Finally tho, Me is forced to give in when challneged by Sprout to new 'game' what called 'checkers'. Me laugh and bellow at sprout what think she so smart as to defeat Goliath. She say if "me win game, then you have to takes us on vacation". Me not too comfortable with thsi here wager (me remembers multibple challenges in 'tic tac toe' where Sprout defeat me by unfair play) but me not able to turn down this might challenge to Goliath Authority! WEll, as you now knows..sprout defeat Goliath by very unfair rule me discover where her get to 'crown Kings' if makes it down to back row...very unfair rule!)

So, anywayts, we load up the Goliath gas guzzling SUV's with bags, weapons, beach umprellas,

float boards, water jugs and lay in good stock of whisky, jaegermeisters, gin, rum and tequila

(for consumption on long drive to state name of '"Georgia". Hit highway and heads south!

PART TWO

As me pull into La Quinta Motel, in Kennesa Georgia, me get out and stretch legs and spot swimning pool what me already envisages sprout will want to test out. Me grab local newspaper to read (this a habit what me has..me likes very well to read up on local news of little burgs and places and me find some most innneresting things there in) Me SHOCKED to find that PAPER report 14 FOOT long Alligators found behind MOTEL in nearby town!!!!!

Now me complain from time to times about Sprout...BUT...me has no desire to see Sprout in big fight with 14 FOOT long ALLIGATOR! So natrellay...me start stomping around behind this here Hotel. (me not knows Alligators like to haunt Hotels and such but me not Know much about alligators either) Then me examines very carefull pool. Me not find no Alligators. Then of course..Sprout and wimmens wants to dip in pool. Me say "NO WAY!!" Does thou NOT fear the ALLIGATORS what lurk in Georgia Motels?

Them laughs at Goliath.

Now Goliath sit at poolside with sword and guarding all evening these here what ignores

dnagerr from alligators.

PART 3 **************************************************

We ARRives in Savannana'sNana Georgia. Checks into very very fine HOtel and room on FOURTh floor so no worries about AlLIgators. But Holy Smokes...this here HOTTEST town Goliath ever been to. Even Gath in old Philistine back int the day NEver this dad blast HOT. We wanders about but so soon it too dad blast hot and all wimmens start to whine and moan. We hop on trolley what tours all old time houses. BUT what we see? Traffic all stop and back up because of FUNERAL of some dad blast General. His coffin toted in white carriage pulled by two fine steeds. Followed up by family in long cream color limersine. Then a brigade of soldiers in Fine Military HOnor best DRess! Marching along with Weapons, Flags etc., Whole thing give

Goliath Chills on such HOt day.

That night, at urging of Sprout....All take "GHOST TOUR of SAVANNAsNana" So, this here very scary when find out this here HOuse haunted by two little girls what died in fire and burned up in attic of old house. (not explains how this here old house still there...but that a minor detail Also Ghosts what walks up and down stair ways. Ghost of old Pirates, Ghosts of Wimmens what sleep with other wimmen's man and was LYNCHED. Etc., This whole thing so dad blast scary me cannots sleep that night. Toss and Turns

.... Me wonders if Ghosts in HOTEL ROOMS!!!

PART FOUR TYBEE ISLAND*******************************************

Me rise and loads the wagon and all head out next day to Tybee Island. This after big breakfast where very nice wimmens gives Goliath free breakfasts.

This here Tybee Island is not no dad blast Islands!!! Me was prepared to get out and swim across to some channell of water or the like but instead me drive right to such Isalnd and finds the place what has been done prepared for Goliathandwimmens. This here short walk to beach

but it so dad blast hot that Goliath practically fall over from lugging beach chairs, cooller with beverages, inflatable rafts, ping pong table and other necessary beach gear to beach. Right away

Sprout demand to enter deadly sea!!! Me insists NO WAY! But Sprout is very mule headed and insists on entering large wave like structures what crash over her small sprout body and even insists on riding on 'boogie board' in deadly sea. ME explain very bad histroy Goliath have with sea and ocean monsters to Sprout (Please see Goliath's "A Story about a Fish") to Sprout but she just laughs in Goliath face!!!

Somehow Sprout Survives as does the wimmens and everyone else excepts Goliath. Me has scorned use of "Suntan LOtion 50" what all is using. That for wimmens me has doen thought

but turn out Goliath get many and many a large RED BURNING areas over much of Goliath's

battle hardened frame. This turn out to be rather painfuls but, as me is mighty WARRIOR, me

NOT ABLE TO COMPLAINS as it part of WARRIOR Code not to complain about pain and injuries. But...I can tell all here...this was very misery making! Sheba El Al however come to rescue by putting creamy salves and ointments on the frame. Here a photo examples of

what this burn looks like Except on a wimmens. This help considerable. Me very

glads we is leaving this here wretched ISalnd next DAY!!!

Part 5

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Now when trip start to get even more grueling. Goliath pack up all the stuffs kiss the host and

beautiful childrens of host and hostesses good bye and head for South Carolina. Now all during

the previous days, Sheba El Al done been playing books on tape of "CRIME AND PUNISHMENT". This here the story of a dad blast nervous wreck what goes to rob this old lady. Then him do everthing in his power to prove to all abouts that him is one who done robbed her. However, all the dumb peoples around him not figure it out. THis her Raskalinov then go on getting crazier and crazier as finallys he meets man, Porphiri, what knows him is killer of old bag.

However, Porphyria so smart him know that worst PUNISHMENTS is to let Rascal twist in wind and it is this here his horrible mind twisting soul eating loss what send Racscaloniof into fits. Actually, it kind of funny.

Anyways we sailing along through and old ladies what we is supposed to meet implores us, DONN"T GO INTO CHARLESTON. However, this here just make Goliath more determine than ever to enter this city. THus we dine in BLOSSOM. Following healthy meal we cross big

Bridge an head to strange Island...what is like Tybee...no need to swim. You just drive to this here Island. That not right.