Inspired by HT Goliath has BIG NEW PLAN: Solve Canal and Bridge Problems

 When Goliath sa the big post by HT showing the big cool Geman engineering project where GERMANS ran A RIVER over A RIVER.

So Goliath think? We much smarter than Germans! We invented rocket travel and had Albert Einstein and such,  so Goliath thinking Why not REDIRECT OHIO RIVER Up around Clarksville?  No need
to build bridges!!!  Just run a couple of Highway lanes over the DRY BED of the OHIO RIVER USED TO BE and RECLAIM ALL THAT PRIME DOWNTOWN REALESTATE????  This is posserbly the most
brilliant IDEA GOLIATH ever HAVE!!!!  (SO Naturally I should get dibs on the Homesteading ofall that 
new REAL ESTATE what we now would have)    SOlve Big DEBATE OVER The BRIDGES AND END
DEBATE over teh CANAL!!! Make Canal ever so much MORE USEFUL So its use is BEYOND
QUESTION ...EVEN By NSHBM!!!  

I Even go so far as to Draw out a simple ENgineering Plan which I present here (Above)
****************************************************************
PART TWO OF ENGINEERING PLAN
Goliath has alrady done receive some smarty pants emails what challenge this brilliant plan. "How you gonna divert the river? How you Gonna dam it up? What happens to the river after it passes through
Clark County?

WELL smarty pants,  Goliath alrady done thought aLL that through.  Here's what we do. Did you forget about the KENNEDY BRIDGE?? That useless rotting piece of junk that spans the river now? We AINT gonna need it!!  So after we get our canal ready we set explosions on the pylons and drop that hated structure into the river like a birdcage!  Only make sure it land on it's side.  It creat a DAm which will run the
river RIGHT INTO THE CANAL!!  As always, Goliath thinking clearly and kill two birds with
one stone!!  Make a Dam and get rid of unsighlty and hated bridge what we won't need no more.

As for where the Canal disgorges the River after it pass through Clark County...THAT IS THE MOST  BEAUTIFUL PART OF THIS PLAN!!!   We  JUST LET the RIVER DISGORGE OUT OVER
HATED NEW ALBANY!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!  Destroy downtonw New Albany!!! THis have the effectr of disrupting ALL those down town New albany no goodnicks and make them move to Jeffersonville  (If they can find a place to live...Think How property prices will Spike UP!! All that business have to reLOCATE to JEFF!! )  IT will be the dawn of the NEW GOLIATH GOLDEN AGE in JEffersonVILLE.

I will NOW SIT Back and AWAIT A  GRATEFUL COmmmunity's THANKS. 

Email Post

Comments

MightyMouse said…
Will there be a toll on this one?
August 13, 2011 at 10:07 AM
Goliath said…
Tolls only on pleasure craft like sea rays stuff like that.
August 13, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Anonymous said…
You are a nut, Goliath, but we like it. -Paul
August 13, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Anonymous said…
Goliath I have only one question? How do you propose we get this done? Your idea is genius but when it gets knocked down into the bureaucracy it will never happen. I present as evidence that fact that we have been unable to build a bridge over the existing water in at least three generations. If we can't build one how can we be expected to knock one down that is already up. I mean the existing bridge is a gift to us from The Gods of WPA. I am not so sure we want to anger the gods.

Brian Coffman
August 13, 2011 at 5:25 PM
Goliath said…
Step 1. Cut Tom Galligan Loose with his earth mving equipment. Dig out the Canal to the Clark county Floyd County Line.

Step 2. Once the Canal dug out, give
Goliath about $200 worth of dynamite and a small motorboat.

Step 3. Stop the traffic on the bridge and set the fuse.
JOB DONE.
August 13, 2011 at 5:36 PM
Goliath said…
Bring that bridge down like a birdcage.
August 13, 2011 at 6:10 PM
Anonymous said…
I am just worried about angering The WPA God. According to the ancient scriptures he sent his workers here in the middle of the 20th century to build that bridge. It has stood since that time as a testament to his powers. I am worried that destroying it may anger him and bring his wrath down upon us. His followers still say that it is fine and it suits our needs perfectly. As NSBHM told your buddy Pesty on The Chatter "Perhaps if you would open your ears you would learn something." Maybe we should at least offer a sacrifice or something before blowing it up. Although I may be over thinking the whole situation because the power is out at my house and I have nothing to do but ponder such things.
August 13, 2011 at 9:26 PM
Goliath said…
That WPA god NO MATCH for the Thomas Jeffersonville God! Doesn't thou know this already!!! Thomas Jeffersonville God got a big dad blasted statute in Warder Park! Have you seen a statute for WPA? NO! Make a small sacrifice of chickens to TJ God and all will be well.
August 13, 2011 at 10:58 PM
Anonymous said…
Once again Goliath you have out done yourself. I can't overcome that kind of logic. I like the idea of sacraficing a chicken at the monument to TJ better than the other idea. I was worried that we were going to have to sacrafice a virgin at the base of The Kennedy bridge and I was worried that we would be unable to find a virgin in Jeffersonville. I was prepared to sacrafice Matt Chill instead and hope The WPA gods understood that he was as close as we could find to meeting their demands. I do have a question about the chicken though. Do we need a live chicken for this occasion or can we just go to Kroger and buy one of those pre-sacraficed chickens?

Brian Coffman
August 14, 2011 at 8:26 AM
Amy said…
Goliath, you of all great giants should know that the worlds most brilliant contributors to the cultural and social advancement of our society are seldom recognized or appreciated during their own lifetime. It will be centuries before your genius is rewarded with a grateful thanks from the masses.
August 14, 2011 at 9:28 AM
~ChopperWoman~ said…
I vote for the pre-sacraficed chicken! Giggling at the idea that Matt Chill is the closest thing to a virgin we have in Jeff.

By the way ... Just say NO to tolls on Goliath's Grand Canal! I'm going to talk to that lawyer guy DM. I know he is opposed to tolls! Goliath might want to re-think his idea about charging a toll to pleasure craft!! You do not want to deal with DM!
August 14, 2011 at 9:33 AM
Matthew said…
From what I've heard Matt Chill is just so nervous around the ladies.

Stuttering, chain smoking and such.

He should do like me and date a fancy feminist leader. She won't cook, or clean, or pick up after dogs Franklin and Eleanor, but she levelheaded lady who demands to pay for dinner.
August 14, 2011 at 1:20 PM
Goliath said…
Chicken s cannot be 'pre sacriifcied.
You have to have them alive to satisfy the Tom Jeffersonville God. That's just BASIC.

I can't believe I has to explain this here. Pigeions will do in a pinch too.

LIVE Pigeions.
August 14, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Goliath said…
And, AMY you is apparently right again. I expected phone calls from the Mayors office. If for nothing else then just the thought of Flooding all Of New Albany and wiping it off the MAP FOREVER!!!

But so far, No one call Goliath.
Genius unrewarded...so far.
August 14, 2011 at 2:39 PM
Goliath said…
Also CG....We toll HELL out of pleasure crafts. Since I ain't got one, it not affects me and Therefor it a very good tax/toll. This here DM fellow Has never faced down my lawyer, J.W. Hardin Esq. what reside in HELL. DM no match for JWH.
August 14, 2011 at 4:02 PM
Anonymous said…
I have read some interestin stories about JW Hardin esq. And his knowledge of Law. I am afraid that no local lawyer can match his knowledge and interperatation of justice.

Brian Coffman
August 14, 2011 at 8:07 PM
Anonymous said…
I just thought of another great idea. This idea comes from listening to Fr Jim Wilkinson who was the guest speaker at The Falls Cities Sertoma last Wednesday. He is the retired priest that used to do the ministries on the barge lines. Fascinating guy. Anyway he told a story about how they let him be a captain in one of the big simulators they have just to see how he would do. He said they programmed in all six designs they had for the new local bridges and let him have at it. He managed to knock all six bridges down in the simulation. Now I am thinking that instead of using dynomite perhaps we could let Rev Wilkinson have at the old bridge behind one of those barges. I know he would love it. It would add a human interest element to your plan.

Brian Coffman
August 15, 2011 at 12:00 PM
Goliath said…
Bravo Mr. Brian. This here JUST the kind of Open Air Thinking Goliath LOVE. Please Get Rev. Jim on the phone immediately!!!
August 15, 2011 at 6:14 PM
hoosiertaxpayer said…
Have the HT "wifebeater" T-Shirts been discontinued or are they sold out ???

Went to order some for the in-laws and they were gone from Goliath's Treasures.....
August 16, 2011 at 12:35 AM
Goliath said…
They was sold out MONTHS ago HT!
Goliath getting ready to introduce his new line "I Like Pepper Cooper"
Tee's , "I Don't Like Pepper Cooper"
etc.,

This promise to be big on the Chatter.
August 16, 2011 at 8:22 AM
Anonymous said…
I like Pepper Cooper in very small doses. He's at his best in Slammers.
August 16, 2011 at 11:03 AM
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