A story about Thanksgiving
"Why the hell do I even bother!" yelled Mom.
She was standing at the stove with an actual apron on and oven mitts on her hands holding a spatula or some sort of cooking implement.
"If Betsy was going to bring along her ex husband and his kids it would have been nice to know."
Pop looked up. He was wearing a housecoat and reading a newspaper.
"Maybe she assumed you would assume", he said.
"that is about the most asinine idea...not yours but that she would make such an assumption". said Mom.
Later, when the whole family was packing in, including Teddy and his three children from his former marriage,
Betsy lit up a cigarette.
"Please don't smoke in here" said Mom.
Jon, the oldest child looked with disapproval at Betsy.
"Come on Betsy"
"Mom and Dad always smoked in here." she muttered as she ground out the nub of her cigarette.
Barrett, Jon's oldest son was lolling on the sofa in the living room with his latest girlfriend. A woman who
had three children of her own and was profoundly overweight.
Betsy asked Jon, in a whisper, "What is Barrett's girlfriend's name?"
"Bethany" whispered back Jon. "and she's his 'fiance' apparently"
Bethany's children ran straight to the kitchen and started digging into a casserole
with spoons they found. Literally. Literally digging into it.
Carol, the middle child started quizzing Barrett on his political views.
"Are you a tea bagger?"
"I don't know"
"Yes or no...are you a tea bagger?"
"Gosh Aunt Carol...I don't know."
"Would you vote for Sarah Palin?"
"Sure"
"you are a tea bagger!"
"Don't say that! Palin's a Republican"
"You like Rush Limbaugh"
"Rush Limbaugh tells it like it is...sorry you can't handle that"
"Rush is a big fat idiot!"
Jon stepped in, "Hey Carol...maybe we should all leave politics alone"
Carol, "Yeah...right. It's Thanksgiving. But still Rush needs to get a L I F E!"
Jr. was thinking, "If Only I could get out of here. Thank god I get to meet Bill when all this
stuff is over with", Jr. went outside, behind the garage and lit up a J. That could
take the edge off. He came back inside and told a joke and then went to the kitchen
and got a glass of wine.
Mom said, "alright, it's almost ready. The rolls will be done in about five minutes".
She was standing at the stove with an actual apron on and oven mitts on her hands holding a spatula or some sort of cooking implement.
"If Betsy was going to bring along her ex husband and his kids it would have been nice to know."
Pop looked up. He was wearing a housecoat and reading a newspaper.
"Maybe she assumed you would assume", he said.
"that is about the most asinine idea...not yours but that she would make such an assumption". said Mom.
Later, when the whole family was packing in, including Teddy and his three children from his former marriage,
Betsy lit up a cigarette.
"Please don't smoke in here" said Mom.
Jon, the oldest child looked with disapproval at Betsy.
"Come on Betsy"
"Mom and Dad always smoked in here." she muttered as she ground out the nub of her cigarette.
Barrett, Jon's oldest son was lolling on the sofa in the living room with his latest girlfriend. A woman who
had three children of her own and was profoundly overweight.
Betsy asked Jon, in a whisper, "What is Barrett's girlfriend's name?"
"Bethany" whispered back Jon. "and she's his 'fiance' apparently"
Bethany's children ran straight to the kitchen and started digging into a casserole
with spoons they found. Literally. Literally digging into it.
Carol, the middle child started quizzing Barrett on his political views.
"Are you a tea bagger?"
"I don't know"
"Yes or no...are you a tea bagger?"
"Gosh Aunt Carol...I don't know."
"Would you vote for Sarah Palin?"
"Sure"
"you are a tea bagger!"
"Don't say that! Palin's a Republican"
"You like Rush Limbaugh"
"Rush Limbaugh tells it like it is...sorry you can't handle that"
"Rush is a big fat idiot!"
Jon stepped in, "Hey Carol...maybe we should all leave politics alone"
Carol, "Yeah...right. It's Thanksgiving. But still Rush needs to get a L I F E!"
Jr. was thinking, "If Only I could get out of here. Thank god I get to meet Bill when all this
stuff is over with", Jr. went outside, behind the garage and lit up a J. That could
take the edge off. He came back inside and told a joke and then went to the kitchen
and got a glass of wine.
Mom said, "alright, it's almost ready. The rolls will be done in about five minutes".
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