Cityscape Panel Discussion-Jeff Canal Project

Me so happy to welcome HOnored guests for this PUBLIC SERVICe Panel discussion on the JEFF CANAL PROJECT. Me see all the clatter and big talk what pass for debates and discussion on CCC (Especially HTaxpayer..what has decided to

be against this here project JUST to SPITE Goliath and seek to crush dream of Coffee houses of Amsterdam STyle in own backyard).

So, Me decide to convene this here panel of famous and very well knowns HIStorical figures what is all now Dead and lolling about in the afterlife with nothings much to do

and me think, "Why not ask these here for their good opinions?" Now these here City planners was the top of the PIle for planning a dad blasted city!! Them is WEll KNOWn as making a City stand up on hind leg and WALK!!! So thems word is AU:THORITY! and soon put end to all this here JIBBer Jabber on the Chatter! Let me innerduce our guests. First, from the

afterworld of Paris France, we gots Baron Haussmann . This here feller laid out Paris, the most beautiful city in the world today. Him make a mark like no man make before and we Welcome him here. Next, Me innerduce Frederick Law Olmstead what is the famous man what Laid out Central Park in New York City. He also laid out Cherokee and Central Park in Louisville and the Eastern Parkway connecting the city to Cherokee park.

Our Third guest is well known to all fans of HBO and western Movies and demonstrated a CIty Planning ability Second to none! That' right... Al Swearengen of Deadwood South Dakota. Finally, to add balance and the necessary Schadenfreude for the CCC crowd, me welcom A. Hitler who was (in his own mind) a Hellacious city planner.

Welcome Gentelmens, and you too, Adolf. NOw, to open this here up tell us your INital thinkings about this here Jeff City Canal?

Baron H. "Zeez peeteeful projek scarcely wurth zee time of A grande veeshunairee ...mais,

eef it express the grande visions and grace of zee Galligan Eem-pie-Aire....zen it can be verth

doieeng! "

Hitler: "Icht nein, grut, ....jahvolt? Meezle. Hehrshut! Snizzle!"

Al S. " I just need some C&%KS*^*&ker to explain to these woefully underused ears how this

benefits the hoopleheads and enriches the pockets of the pillars of the camp? A canal seems

rather advanced for the likes of these dirt worshipers.

Olmstead: " I am intrigued that someone is thinking of solving a municipal problem in a creative

way apparently intended to add visual appeal and greenspaces to the urban downtown that, frankly, at present looks a bit careworn."

Hitler: "Ich ein Berliner! ..Snizzle!"

Goliath: "How this here better or worsers than just throwing in a dad blasted sewer pipe to drain off the waters?"

B. Haussmann: "Are you mad? Messieur, I zimply offers you zee peekchur zatt you already

provides on zee bloog.... Zees cood ave been yet anotheer concreet booleevard. Yet, all can see. Zees ees bewtyful ! But, you Amareikans cannots appreciates zee bewty no?"

Al S. "I can see the angles. Grease some palms in the construction trades, charge PREMIUM

Zoning fees for lot space on the adjacent sites. Then you have plenty of green to pay off the deep thinkers on the Corps of Engineers... and those C&*^% in Washington. "

Hitler " Fut! Gesundheit, Nein! Danke! Shnizzzle Dizzle!"

GOLIATH: "Me would like to interject a small point what me has given many and many a

thought to...What think thee of putting Amsterdam styled coffee shops in the Canal District?"

Al. S. "Of course, there is no better place for a site of operations than a saloon. I wouldn't put

craps games in the joints though....confuses the hoopleheads. They'll already be confused worse

than flat hammered sh&t from slamming that stuff all day. You'll need to set up a pig lot somewhere to dispose of 'bags of sh#t which, for any community leader are inevitable and

unavoidable."

Olmstead: " I can't see an objection to your plan, Goliath, except that it seems to cater to only

one section of the population. A community project like this should be accessible to all of the

citizens, young and old, rich and poor so as to introduce grace into their everyday lives."

Hitler: "Ich Nein Munche veder Platz...Shnizzle!!"

Goliath: "What do you say to the CCChatterings what is oppposed to this here projects?"

B. Haussmann. " I am BARON Haussmanns! Vhat do zey Knows about eet? Zeet down and

fermez la bouche!!"

Al S. " Oh, I think they're full of deep thinkers and the like. Give them a referendum and tell them to stay away if they don't like it. They can loiter down by the pest tents just so long as they

keep spending money!"

Hitler. "Unche Gotter Damerung Vecht SHchnizzle bodizzle!!!" NEIN DIZZLE!"

Goliath: "Me thanks you shades...now go back to whatever you don't do in the afterlife"