A Story abouts AMbiorix

Well, me tell here a story what not many could be told. How did a feller go up against Julius

Caesar and survive? NO.....how about, how does one beat Julius Caesar...badly and survives? AMbiorix did it.

This here story tooks place back when I was perty young...only abouts a thousan year old. Abouts twenty year before Jesus Christ got borned...(54 bc) Julius up in north france....(then we calls it

"Gaul") and him whipping all them there tribes and clans an takings over all with mighty victorys and what not. After him whip all them there, him go home and leave his Genrals, Sartias and Cotta in charge this here fort. Them tough Roman Genrals. Me, I was with Cicero over at another

fort not too fars away (that how me know this here story...and later me join the 20th..that the best legion).

This hiere smart guy, Ambiorix what this story about, him a Gaul Chief. Him make very very good friends with old Caesar and them spend many and many a good night party with them there french girls what even today is a special kind of wimmens. Juli, him think this here Ambiorix is very good guy ..even if him french. Him trust him near as much as Roman genreals.

So, leaves his little pissant tribes alone. Them called "Eurobones" (funny name that).

Juli leave for the winter and go south. Cotta and Sartias in charge of fort 1 and two legions

(that 12 thousand mens) Cicero go to fort 2, with one legion...and them weaker anyways cause

mostly young roman sprouts not knows nothing.

In what we now call "November" AMbiorix hatch him out a plot to start a whole big Franch revolt! But, you say, "how this here one guy with a weak as hell tribe whips all them there

Roman soldiers?"

Here how he done it. .... He send some of his boys to attacks some of these here romans when them was out gathiring firewood. But, Eurobones soldiers so weak they get knocked on thems

asses. (even though them Romans not even ready to fight!). Then Ambiorix send half ass attack

on fort 1. But, Romans just throw couple spears and then Eurobones retreat. (nobody gets hurt).

NOw, the plot really start. Ambi, him send delergation and him talk to Cotta and Sartius as

follows:

"Me so sorry to attack thee. Me haves no choice or all my French chieftain allies done come and

kill me and my family. Now I has discharged my duty to them. BUT me still LOVE Rome very

very much especially my deep true good friend Julius Caesar. Him a brother to me. "

"Me must tell you Romans, there a big war goign RIGHT NOW!!! All over France, each

seperated legion is under siege by the French. (Gauls) They even has German soldiers come

across the Rhine River to help and your friend Cicero in his weak camp will be destroyed

VEry Very soon!"

NOw, Cotta him say "we no should believe this dad blasted French poodle what attacks us!"

But, old Sartius...him say, "HE must be telling the truth. His attacks were weak ...he didn't REALLY mean us harm and him big buddies with JUli! I say, leave now and go help out Cicero

that only way to save Roman honor!"

Them dad blasted generals argues all night! Finally Sartius win and it decided, them Romans

leave the fort and go to safety of Fort 2! All soldiers leave 12000 strong. BUT, them is carrying all possessions them has from 4 years of looting and them tiered from no sleep due to big aruguments. They set out single file. Trudging along. Then, late that afternoons the

army enter a big ravine. This here about as deep as two (normal) mens and only wide enough

for two....but... big enough lengthways to hold all of the legions.

Ambiorix, him have his men stationed on either end of ravine, and at top. When all romans

in the trap...him spring it!!! Them Romans is slaugherted one by one....blood actually run

like a creek in bottom of ravine!!! Sartius him still CAN BELIEVE IT!!!! Him go with two

officers under white flag to Camp of Ambiorix... "What is you doing AMbi...you friend of

Romans!!!" What does AMbiorix do under this here white flag? Him tell his men to seize

Sartius and his officers and him cut their HEADS OFF!!! Meanwhile, back in the ditch,

Cotta is fighting as much as him can...but finally, even he fall dead to french blade!!!

That there how small puny french man, Ambiorix whip Julius Caesar and deal mighty blow

to Romans what tried to take his freedom.

Now, just so you know....Julius late come and whipped the Eurobones, and sold their wimmens

and chillern into slavery...but...Ambioriox Got away...NO ONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED
TO HIM...but HIM LIVE FREE TILL DAY HE DIE!!!!

True Story, from Goliath