CHATTER CHICKS OUTING?

UPDATE: CHICK REPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


UPDATE: CHICK REPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unofficial Underground Minutes of the Second Chatter Chicks Meeting

In attendance: Teresa Fisher, Cindiloohoo, Chopper Woman, Hound Dog, I Like Squirrels, Grumpy Granny, Happy Granny and Debbie 
Missing in action: Jules (who had a horrible make-up accident as her foundation cracked) and Happy Cat (who was too busy looking for her bells or balls, not sure)

The meeting was called to order by Hound Dog, who served as hostess for the meeting since she chose the restaurant, Habana Blues in New Albany. Thanks to Hound Dog, we even got to meet one of the owners, a very nice looking Cuban fellow. Though not quite as hot as the waiter who loves Debbie (more on this later). 

All of our dishes were of authentic Cuban/Spanish fare. We know it’s authentic because our waiter was named Ulysses, who by the way loves Debbie. Though this writer does not know exactly how it went at Third Base, it appears a tradition has been started where lots of sharing of food happens. Debbie said she never thought communism could be so much fun. She particularly enjoyed it when she and Cindi bonded over the tasty balls.

Cindi had a shot or two to go with her Sprite and decided to offer loads of useful advice. She told us what to do to get a good portrait taken. There are lots of details, but the most important part is to stand on your head. Oh and make sure you wear high heels. She also discussed how to deal with the opposite sex and get what you want. She said the right activity, done correctly can get you two weeks of complete cooperation from a man. I Like Squirrels said if done right, you can get one month out of it, which means Cindiloo must only be doing it half right.

At this point Hound Dog, who, even though she spends a lot of time digging all the graves in Clark County, still has time to read the paper, gave us important breaking news: apparently some guy had a traffic accident because he was distracted by oral sex. Everyone decided from that point on to make her the official “important news gatherer” and everyone can’t wait to see what breaking new happens next month. If Jules doesn’t show up, we all decided we’d make up news about her.

Chopper Woman was at this meeting. Of course. Chopper Woman is always there. Chopper Woman will go anywhere, particularly if she hears that Greater Clark’s Superintendent Daeschner will be there. When she realized he wasn’t with us today, she was disappointed but still stayed long enough to drink a couple of Sangrias. Which she found out isn’t a good idea if she needs to text someone on her phone. But it wasn’t the Sangria, it was the fruit.

Teresa Fisher was there and informed us that she’s moving out of Clark County and her haunted house. She’s not sure if her ghosts will follow her but just in case they don't, she made sure to buy a house right across the street from a cemetery. She wanted to know if she could still come to the meetings even though she was moving and after a long debate, where Chopper threw fruit and Cindi threw some black olives, we finally decided we didn’t care one way or the other. Feeling the love, she decided she would probably continue to join us.

After all of this chatter, Grumpy Granny was getting kind of, well, grumpy. She was feeling her new found power as one of the new owners of the Chatter and constantly threatened all of us with banishment if we did anything to tee her off. And being a grumpy granny it’s easy to tee her off. So we did the only thing we could do, we put her on ignore.

After ignoring Grumpy Granny, we all got the pleasure of meeting Happy Granny, a very sweet lady who probably wondered how she made the mistake of joining our little group. She has been out of town for 5 months, gallivanting around and having fun and now finds herself stuck in Southern Indiana so we think she decided this is the best she can do.

As the meeting wound down, the topic of minutes came up. Kelley is the official secretary but she wasn’t there, since she was still recovering from the lemon drops. So someone suggested Debbie. Debbie said she’s not a writer, and although everyone who has read her newspaper column agreed, they still demanded she be secretary.

Debbie said she really knows why she was picked. She was chosen because everyone was jealous that the hot waiter, Ulysses, loves her. The hot waiter who loves Debbie so much he said she got lucky today and didn’t have to pay for her Sangria. Or the fruit, which really made Chopper Woman grumble.

Debbie continued to protest, but in the end the group did the worst thing in the world they could do to her. They said if she did not write the minutes that they would use the government to make her do it. 

I like Squirrels said Debbie didn’t do it then she would call up her best-est friend in the whole wide world, little Tommy Galligan, and tell him to go bulldoze her house down. Everyone unanimously agreed.

Debbie was angry that I like squirrels even had such power at this meeting because she came in late. Okay, so Debbie was late too, but that’s not the point. The point is this is the end of the minutes.

Disrespectfully submitted,

Debbie, the one who Ulysses loves