Home of the Week FLOODZONE MARRIAGE


By Erma Thrask

Bennetsville, May 8- Salutations! I come to you today with a heavy heart. When I was just a child, my dear Sunday School teacher used to have us sing a sad and wistful song about 'building a house on shifting sands'. This is old tune is what cameto mind as I perused this week's "Home of the Week" at the request of Mr. Goliath. (incidently, he has asked me to consider expanding my criticism portfolio by reviewing the contemporary cinema...I am giving some thought to this). However, to the task at hand....the essay in excessive living writ by Mr. and Mrs. Larry Middleton in today's photo essay You know you are dealing with some egoism and presumption when the owners have give their house a 'name'. In this case "Little Cote' " (we LOVE the slamming together of English and French!..NOT!) As in many cases of Home of the Week, the real interest lies in the people who inhabit the homes depicted. Sometimes, I confess, when I read
these things I almost want to throw up the contents of my stomach. (which is mostly bourbon
laced egg nog..which I find is an excellent drink with breakfast!)

Here, we are told Before they were married, Julie and Larry Middleton each owned a large house. “After looking at many houses, this was the only one we could both envision living in,” Julie said. “Incorporating two households of furniture into one was quite a process. It was a marriage of things as well as of people.” Are we to believe that, honestly, THIS house was the ONLY one that Mr. and Mrs. Middleton could 'envision living in?" If true, then Erma Thrask can only say..."How sad for the both of you!"

Now we are told that the Middletons Julie and Larry Middleton. (By Michael Hayman, The Courier-Journal) have six children. Photographs can be misleading....but I would calculate Mrs. Middleton to be about
34 years of age and Mr. Middleton to be more in the 55 year old or OLDER range. Hmmmm?
What price was paid so this charming couple could aquire and inhabit 'the only house they
could envision living in"?

But enough musings on the personal life of the pair (at least they were willing to face the camera!) I turn to the house itself. Frankly, there is nothing remarkable to comment on. This
house has been carefully decorated and furnished. We appreciate the photograph of the bar showing the almost empty bottle of Old Forester Bourbon


May I simply observe that every detail has been tastefully attended to. All demonstrating true
fine and tasteful sensibilities. Yes, the Middletons have made all the right moves to show
their cultivation and quality taste.......everything except PUTTING THEIR POSSESSIONS ON
DISPLAY IN THE COURIER JOURNAL.

Good luck Mr. Middleton....We hope you will take time to sit down sometime in your short chino's, your anklet socks and 'running shoes', savor your Old Fo and read your Bible...I know
that you have one in there somewhere. And Mrs. Masterson, congratulations dear! At the
tender age of 35 you have acquired the possessions you have dreamed of. You will be quite the
grande dame at 65!

Comments

Anonymous said…
I suppose my family will have to plead guilty to real egoism ourselves as we have named our house, "The Little House of Hell"...However in light of the fact that the Middleton's have chosen to call their ESTATE "LITTLE Cote'", I think we may have to change the name of our house to the "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny House of Hell"!!

Jules
hoosiertaxpayer said…
Is that Mrs. Middleton or one of Mr Middleton's daughters ? I'll bet there's an ex Mrs. Middleton out there some where, who bore the Middleton offspring.....
Goliath said…
Yes HT, me unnerstand the first Mrs Middleton got rather dumpy after has four chillerns. Thus, Mr. Middletons finds it more appropriate to 'mature' in his relationshops and 'be honests' with himselfs...Plus, him could no longer 'envisions living in that dad blast house' he use to live in with the first Mrs. Middleton.
Goliath said…
We has learn that Julia Middleton is actuerally about 43 and Old Man Mimddleton is about 65. Erma says so sorry for underestermating ages by a decade.
Anonymous said…
Oh, wow! I can comment!! Cool!!

Old Erma says sorry??? She actually admits to making a mistake? Bet she was all drunked up on Goliath's special eggnog.

Goliath, please tell me you don't use Wild Turkey in her eggnog!! If you wasted Turkey on that old dried up stick, I'd have to be done with you forever!!!


GG

Popular Posts