WARSAW PACKED- Home O' the Week by ERMA THRASK
Salutations! Mr. Goliath has once again asked me to comment on the "home of theweek" feature in that communist influenced (and needless to say--non CHRISTIAN
news organ...the Courier Journal). It is with some little pleasure that I have noted
that the author of this dubious feature has, at least, listened to our comments about 'faux Greco columns' and 'entertainment rooms', none of which have appeared since our last column. Thank the Lord! And, while the subsequently featured homes have not been nearly so offensive as those previously commented on, we can onlyconclude that our constructively minded criticisms have had a tonic effect.
It is with mixed emotions that I now turn to the home featured this week. "Warsaw" is what its
current owner has rather presumptiously dubbed it. Like "Tara" or "Mt. Vernon" it is thought that giving a house its own 'proper name' imbues a sense of historic grandeur. (Perhaps I will rename my home "Bennettsville" or, hearkening to my youth in Kentucky, "Waddy". In any case, the owner of "Warsaw" is a young bachelor named "Brandl". (I confess I have difficulty getting a handle on 'Brandl' as a name. I prefer Biblical names.)
Overall, my criticisms of 'Warsaw' are restrained. Brandl had the sense to engage interior designers to assist him in his 'Quest' to create a nest that might (one imagines) lure a suitable
female mate. We hope he realizes if he is successful in this mission, his new wife will, of course,
refurbish the entirety of the home. Of course I assume Brandl is heterosexual. A homosexual
would have done all the interior design themselves...and generally done a very admirable job of
it too. (Although one notices the distinct 'fussiness' of the work of less experienced gay men in
their decoration efforts). But now, let us turn to the 'errors' of Brandl's otherwise helpful
designers.
The featured photograph, is a 'living room' (or as Brandl named it..the 'keeping' room) is
smashed into the space off the kitchen. This would have been a perfect place for a kitchen
table and I predict this will be its fate at the hands of the future "Mrs. Brandl". As it is, it looks
like an overstuffed dorm room. The 'packed' theme continues in what Brandl calls 'the gun
room' which has no guns in it. 
And as one continues through the home, we see this 'packed' theme continuing in most every room of the house. We recommend Brandl have a nice yard sale and dispose of about one third of the 'stuff'.
The most egregious error Brandl's desgners committed was in his bedroom. My goodness, what
WERE they thinking? 
Perhaps Brandl expect to entertain Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles when they come to Lexington for the
Equestrian games. Brandl can greet them in his jammies! Mrs Brandl, we assume will remedy
this faux pas.
Finally, though Brandl looks like a very pleasant fellow who certainly has lots of money to spend,
and we commend him greatly for resisting the temptation to have a "MEDIA ROOM", we note
with Christian sadness the lack of the one possession of critical importance to any man that hopes to find a proper mate to share his home with and raise a brood of good, caucasion, southern Baptists.... that's right there's no BIBLE to be found in any room of the home. But we note with sadness, there is this..........
Shame!!! Brandl...must you shame your mother this way???
-Erma Thrask (the Photographs were by Tim Webb)
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