Home of the week: Bipolar Disorder, by Erma Thrask

(the room on the right is from the courier journal website. The window treatments illustrate the
bipolar nature of the design)

Greetings. Mr. Goliath has once again asked for my opinions about this week's "home of the week"

I am a little upset that my words were not heeded. If you recall I mentioned last week's couples' faux pas of having faux greco columns in the 'living salon'. But, I see from this week's feature that my words have been disregarded...as you can see for yourself. (above). When Mr. Goliath brought me this weeks' edition, I confess I was more shocked than when first introduced to this hideous series. Gaze, if you will on the completely over the top vulgar tastes on full display in the home of "Billie and Lemoyne Smith" ! My confusion began as I tried to imagine who was the man; Billie or Lemoyne?

Perhaps it scarcely matters as I feel no REAL man could long tolerate living in such a Barbizon

top off! I mean "really!" what self respecting hoosier christian could feel comfort or ease in this

dining room? A word of advice, marble (or faux marble) tile is appropriate for the bath or the

kitchen (sometimes)...not the living room. Next, dear, it is usually a mistake to put your dining

room just off the entry to the house. One needs a transition space before entering on the area where we dine. (There is some ritual involved in dining, after all) But the faux columns, the faux

marble floors and most horrifying of all, the triple sunken ceiling with faux (Am I detecting a theme here?) metallic ceiling, are all more suitable for a dice room in Las Vegas....not the home

of a Southern Indiana family. Whom do the Smiths expect to entertain here? Members of the

New Jersey Gotti crime family?

Need I mention the horrible clash between the simple, plain (and quite acceptable) craftsman chairs in this room and all the garish 'accents' surrounding them? Erma Thrask advises Mrs.

Smith to keep the table and chairs and the sideboards and throw everything else OUT!!!

The Courier did the Smiths the favor of NOT publishing all the photographs of the Smith "Salon". The photo featured in the paper is almost acceptable. Except for the rococco ceiling

trim, (and the pretentious piano score strategically displayed which, frankly, Erma Thrask doubts is EVER played) the salon would appear to be acceptable. But gracious! When one

looks at the other view of this room from the Courier web site we see the photo featured at

top (above). Erma Thrask is speechless! What sort of madman (or woman) designed this

window treatment? Is this a victorian bawdy house? A greco-roman pleasure villa or the

home of a respectable hoosier couple? God only knows! One imagines Scarlett Ohara coming

in through the french doors wearing a roman toga and speeking with a New Jersey "Thug" accent!

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We are told that Mrs. Smith fancies herself 'an artist'. Well, it does no harm to allow others to

indulge themselves in innocent and harmless fantasy so Erma Thrask will refrain from any

comment on that point.

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I will conclude by noting this home has the obligitory 'media' room with overhead, high def projection for "Wide Action" viewing. Obviously, pornography has made major inroads into

Southern Indiana home life. Nowhere in this home is there a BIBLE. Please, I implore you

to pray for these sad, insecure and apparently bi-polar hoosiers.